


Armageddon and a Baby

by KaytheJay



Series: One Big Accident [10]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Armageddon, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, The Ineffable Plan (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:20:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25729579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaytheJay/pseuds/KaytheJay
Summary: Armageddon is near. Crowley and Aziraphale have to learn how to deal with it while also taking care of and protecting their son.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: One Big Accident [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1798927
Comments: 46
Kudos: 78





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to the start of the end! That’s right folks, this is the last fic in my One Big Accident series. This series has been an absolute joy to write and I hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as I adored writing it. Just a note, there are a number of quotes in this fic that I borrowed directly from the show so if it sounds familiar, that’s why.  
> Thank you to my wonderful betas (@ramenbaka and @whobianbi on Tumblr) they helped me out so much with this and I am forever grateful for the both of them!  
> Fun fact, I wrote the first draft for this wonderful mess of a story all within 24 hours. So that’s really cool.  
> I am going to do a spin-off series with Eden, so watch out for that. I will have the link to it in the notes of the series as soon as I get it posted.  
> Anyway, thank you for clicking my fic, and thank you for reading my notes this far!

It was a typical night in Aziraphale and Crowley’s home. They’d made themselves dinner, gotten Eden bathed and ready for bed, and they were now in the living room watching Eden as he played with his toys for a bit before he was going to be forced to go to bed. He was getting so big, Aziraphale thought with dismay. The baby was already three years old. He looked more and more like his father by the minute. He had Crowley’s face shape, nose, mouth, and lips, though he had Aziraphale’s eyes and hair. Time seemed to fly by when they were preparing for the end of the world. Crowley sighed. 

“I suppose I should probably tell you that they’re sending a hellhound.”

“They’re sending him a hellhound?” Aziraphale asked, “Doesn’t that seem a bit dramatic?” 

“He’s the Antichrist,” Crowley replied. “His very existence is  _ dramatic _ .” Aziraphale sighed and shook his head. 

“Well, when is he supposed to get this hellhound?” 

“His birthday, three o’clock.”

“Then we should be there! I can do my magic act!” Aziraphale said with excitement. 

“No, no, no, please don’t this is just embarrassing,” Crowley moaned. 

“Mommy does magic!” Eden said, walking over. “Can I see?” 

“Look, Crowley, even Eden is in a good mood for it. I should do it. I just have to get back into practice,” Aziraphale said pointedly. Crowley groaned. This was ridiculous. Ridiculously adorable but ridiculous nonetheless. 

“You can do proper magic, why do you bother with this?” Aziraphale ignored the comment. He pulled a coin out of his pocket and waved in front of Eden’s eyes. Eden smiled. 

“Are you ready?” Aziraphale asked playfully. Eden clapped and sat down in front of Aziraphale. “Now watch carefully as I-” Aziraphale made the coin disappear, “Oops, it seems I have misplaced the coin.” Aziraphale showed Eden his hands. “Where did it go?” Aziraphale looked around the couch pretending to look for the coin. Eden grabbed Aziraphale’s hands before looking back up into Aziraphale’s eyes. 

“Where is it?” Eden asked. Aziraphale smiled. 

“I think it’s in your ear.” Eden reached up for his ears and stuck his fingers in them looking for the coin. He pulled them out and set them in his lap. 

“No, it’s not!” Eden protested. Aziraphale smiled. 

“Oh but it is, look,” Aziraphale reached up and pulled the coin out of Eden’s ear. “Here it is!” 

“Wow!” Eden exclaimed, absolutely astonished. His eyes were as wide as they could possibly go. His mother was the  _ coolest _ person he had ever known. He was  _ magical _ . 

“Oh come on, it wasn’t in his ear!” Crowley said.

“It was!” Aziraphale protested. Crowley shook his head. 

“Mommy just pulled it out!” Eden said. “Look! Watch Daddy!” Eden scooched closer to Aziraphale. “Do it again.” Aziraphale smiled. 

“I don’t believe that is how we ask for things,” Aziraphale said, though he knew he was going to end up doing it again anyway. “How do we ask for things? Do it properly this time.” Eden nodded. 

“Can you please do the magic again?” Eden asked. He gave Aziraphale the puppy dog eyes that neither Aziraphale or Crowley could resist. It was incredible what a three-year-old could accomplish when he wanted something done.

“Of course my dear.” Aziraphale showed Eden the coin out in the open. Eden watched carefully, determined to catch how he did it this time around. Aziraphale made the coin disappear. 

“Wait!” Eden said, noticing that Crowley had his face covered with his arm, “He’s not watching, Daddy has to watch.” Aziraphale looked over to Crowley. 

“Would you please humor him, darling.”

Crowley sat up and watched Aziraphale. He sighed as if it was the biggest chore Aziraphale had ever asked him to do. A great inconvenience it was, watching his husband be so adorable with their son. 

“Oh alright,” Crowley said. Eden turned back to Aziraphale.

“Now where’s the coin?” Eden asked. 

“I think it’s in your daddy’s ear,” Aziraphale stage whispered. Crowley raised an eyebrow and tried to hide a smile.

“I think not,” Crowley said. Eden crawled into Crowley’s lap and looked in both of Crowley’s ears. When he didn’t see the coin in either, he stuck his fingers in them just for good measure. Crowley flinched and shook his head. Eden turned back to Aziraphale.

“There’s no coin there!” Aziraphale leaned over and had a look for himself. 

“But look right there! I can even see it!” Aziraphale said, looking over to his son. He pointed at Crowley’s ear. “Look!” Aziraphale pulled the coin from Crowley’s ear. “See, it was there all along.” He showed the coin to Eden. Eden grabbed the coin from his hand and turned it over a few times, absolutely fascinated by it. There had to be something with it. He had no idea how his mom was doing the magic trick. Maybe it was a magic coin. That must be it. 

“Again!” Eden said. He handed the coin back to Aziraphale. Aziraphale looked at the clock. 

“Oh, but it is well past your bedtime,” Aziraphale said. 

“No fair!” Eden protested and crossed his arms. “Again.” 

“Is that any way to ask a favor of someone?” Aziraphale asked. 

“Again please?” Eden asked sweetly. Crowley looked over to Aziraphale. 

“You gotta give it to him now, with how cute he is,” Crowley said. He squeezed the child for a hug and Eden giggled. Aziraphale shook his head. 

“How about a story instead?” Aziraphale asked. “There are quite a few books that you haven’t read just yet. How about we go work through one of those?” Eden nodded. 

“Ok!” 

***

Warlock’s party seemed like a lot to Aziraphale. The boy was only eleven, he didn’t need everything that was given. He had around twenty children show up, a massive cake, and a pile of gifts so large that Aziraphale couldn’t imagine him getting through it ever. It wasn’t as if he was a newborn whose parents hadn’t prepared for him or he’d just gotten married. Then again, he wasn’t one to judge. This was how the Dowlings were choosing to raise their son. He wouldn’t want anyone judging his own choices with his son.

Aziraphale had decided against going to the party as someone other than Miss Fell. Mostly because Warlock had asked Nanny to specifically invite Miss Fell and Eden. Aziraphale wasn’t about to let the child down. Especially not since Warlock would probably never see Miss Fell or Nanny Ashtoreth again due to the fact that Aziraphale and Crowley were quitting their jobs with the Dowlings once everything was over. Crowley was getting sick of having a day job and being away from their son, and Aziraphale had no need for the job.

Nanny Ashtoreth had put herself on the outside edges of the party. She needed to watch for this hellhound. It was supposedly the largest they had. That made it dangerous for everyone at the party. She could not have it hurting anyone before Armageddon. More specifically, of course, would be the angel and their son, but she wasn’t about to say that out loud. She had the angel convinced that she was becoming better, morally speaking. Being selfish about who she was protecting would just destroy the whole image she had built with the angel. 

She scanned the entire area every few minutes, just in case the idiots down below had decided to let the hound loose too early. She wouldn’t put it past them. Demons of Hell were quite stupid. Not to be trusted with anyone or anything. Especially nothing Earth related. 

“This party is so boring!” Warlock declared right before three. Nanny Ashtoreth had her eyes on her watch. “Mom, why couldn’t we have done an escape room?” 

“Now, Warlock, you know exactly why. This is what you said you wanted and by the time you’d changed your mind, it was too late to change it,” Mrs. Dowling said. “Please be grateful,” Warlock muttered something under his breath that Nanny didn’t care enough to overhear. There was a hellhound on its way, so she had bigger issues at foot than normal eleven-year-old nonsense.

Nanny Ashtoreth’s watch struck three and she looked up and scanned the surroundings. First for Miss Fell and Eden. She needed to know exactly where they were now that the hellhound was to arrive at any moment. She needed to be able to protect them as necessary. Once she found the two of them, she scanned the rest of the yard for anything that might be the hellhound. It would, of course, be in disguise. You couldn’t hand a bunch of humans a hellhound and expect them not to ask questions.

“I know what will spice this party up!” One of the children said. Nanny knew that Warlock didn’t like this child. He didn’t tend to like any of the children that his mother approved of. He claimed they were all too snobby, not that Nanny could blame him. The child ran over to the cake and grabbed a fist full of it and lobbed it at Warlock. “Food fight!” The rest of the children shrieked and ran to find the nearest food that they could find to throw at the nearest person. Miss Fell made eye contact with Nanny Ashtoreth. Nanny shook her head and Miss Fell picked up Eden. The three of them met up at the car. 

“It’s late,” Miss Fell noted. Nanny rolled her eyes. Miss Fell, always stating the obvious.

“Don’t you think I already know that!” Nanny said. “Bloody idiot demons. Can’t trust them to do shi-”

“Language!” Miss Fell cut Nanny off, having gotten used to her tendency to swear. “There are little ears listening.”

“As if he hasn’t heard worse,” Nanny muttered. Miss Fell gave Nanny The Look, which shut Nanny right up. Miss Fell finished getting Eden into his seat before climbing into her own spot. Crowley flipped on his radio. A few seconds of a song played before there was a wave of static before connecting to Hell. 

“Hello Crowley,” Came a voice from the radio. 

“Uh yeah, just checking in about the hellhound,” Crowley said. 

“We’ve released it. It should be with you by now. Why? Has something gone wrong?” 

“No,” Crowley said. “There it is! That-that’s a nice hellhound, yeah. Big, sharp teeth. Yeah. That’s a hellhound.” Nanny flipped the radio off. She turned to Miss Fell in shock. Both of their personas had shifted off of them, revealing their normal selves. 

“No dog,” Aziraphale said absentmindedly. He was trying to process the fact himself. 

“No dog,” Crowley confirmed. The pair of them stayed in silence for a few minutes thinking about what this meant. For them, for the world, for Armageddon. 

No dog. No dog meant that they had spent . . . no, it couldn’t be. It couldn’t be true. Aziraphale shook his head.  _ No _ .

“Wrong boy,” Aziraphale said. 

“Wrong boy,” Crowley confirmed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes.... I'm aware I technically shouldn't be posting this entire thing in one day. Do I care? Absolutely not.

Aziraphale panicked. He couldn’t help it. They had spent all this time raising the wrong child. The real Antichrist was . . . somewhere. They didn’t know where. Nor what they would have to do once they found him. They certainly didn’t have time to start over and reraise him if that is where the Antichrist was morally. Armageddon was days away. They  _ had  _ to find him. They could  _ not _ allow him to destroy the world.

That would mean their little family getting separated. Without Earth, Crowley and Aziraphale would have to go back to Hell and Heaven respectively, and find new work somewhere. They couldn’t even guess what that would mean for Eden. They could not afford for Armageddon to happen. Neither of them knew what they would do or how they would cope without the other. They had been by each other’s side for 6,000 years now. It was  _ impossible _ for them to picture life separate from each other.

Crowley was more upset than anything. Warlock being the wrong child meant that all that time he’d spent away from his own son had been for nothing. None of his influence on the child had any influence besides making him an odd child. It wasn’t working in Hell’s direction (even if that is something he had wanted to avoid). He could have spent the first three years of Eden’s life right by his side and it wouldn’t have had any impact on what Armageddon was going to be. It was some sort of cruel joke. 

“What are we going to do?” Aziraphale asked. Crowley shook his head. 

“I don’t know,” Crowley said. “But we have to figure it out fast.” 

“We have to find him. We just have to,” Aziraphale replied. 

“And what then?” Crowley asked, 

“He’s the Antichrist. He might be already too far lost.” 

Aziraphale shook his head. 

“He was raised by humans,” Aziraphale said confidently. 

“Humans usually try to raise their children to be good people.” He knew this to be true from watching generations of them from afar. Most parents did what they thought was best for their children. None of them were raising them specifically to be malicious. That was to be Crowley’s job. If they had been raising the right child through this whole nonsense.

“How do you know that Warlock wasn’t just a decoy to keep us from being able to find the real one?” Crowley asked. 

“Maybe they sent me off with Warlock to keep me away from the Antichrist.” 

“No, I don’t think so,” he said. “Hell isn’t that clever. Besides, they put you in charge of delivering him to the hospital on time. That on its own is a big job. I don’t think they would have lied about that.” 

“You clearly don’t know my lot,” Crowley mumbled, though he knew it was true. His lot was known for lying, but there was no reason to give Crowley a decoy baby. Hell didn’t know that Crowley was planning to avert Armageddon. Crowley’s jaw went slack. 

“Something’s changed.” He gripped the steering wheel harder. “The Antichrist. He has the dog.”

“How do you know?” Aziraphale asked. 

“A feeling,” Crowley said, though it was a little more complicated than that. “He has it. He’s named it. Armageddon is only days away.” 

Aziraphale turned to look back at Eden. He couldn’t help it. Eden didn’t pay him any attention, too wrapped up in his humming to care. Aziraphale wanted nothing more than to reach back there, scoop him up and squeeze him as tightly as he could. They were quickly rolling down a hill into the unknown.

Heaven and Hell would very quickly find out about Eden over the next few days, their secret ruined. There was no doubt about that. It didn’t really matter how. They were going to find out, and all three of them were going to be punished. 

Aziraphale closed his eyes. He didn’t want to imagine what would become of Eden, but they were going to find out sooner rather than later. 

Crowley turned into their driveway and stopped the car. The pair silently got out of the car. Aziraphale got Eden out of his seat and the three of them headed inside the house. Their  _ home _ . The place where they had chosen to raise their son. Something that, if everything was going to Plan, would not exist in just a few days. 

“My dear, I need to pop over to the bookshop,” Aziraphale said suddenly. “I have things there that might be able to help us.” 

He was being only half truthful. He knew that if there was anywhere that would have anything that could help them, it would be his bookshop. However, he mostly just wanted to go visit it one last time before everything got destroyed. He had spent centuries collecting for the shop. All that work would soon be turned to dust. Possibly literally, depending on how they were going to go about doing things. 

“Do you want me to take you?” Crowley asked. He knew that Aziraphale only wanted a visit, but he couldn’t blame him. He had been meaning to visit the apartment that he still held for a while now. Aziraphale nodded. Crowley grabbed his keys. “Well let’s just go then, shall we? No reason to wait” Aziraphale nodded. 

***

Upon arrival, Aziraphale insisted that he would only be a few minutes, no need to get out of the car. Crowley complied, mostly to respect the angel and what he needed to do to be able to properly grieve the end of the world. Partly because the shop hadn’t been child proofed just yet. There hadn’t been a reason to. They hadn’t been back to the shop since before Eden was even a thought in either of their minds. Aziraphale had closed the business months before they left for the Dowlings. It just didn’t make sense to come to the shop before now.

A few minutes after they got there, two men walked into the shop. Crowley knew that these people had to be angels. These people had a sort of confidence to them that only someone who held a high position in Heaven could have. Besides, it had been a long time since Aziraphale had gotten a visit from Gabriel. Crowley texted Aziraphale to give him a warning.

***

Aziraphale’s phone buzzed. He pulled it out of his pocket and read the text from Crowley. 

_ Angels in your shop. Please be careful. _ Aziraphale shook his head. It seemed odd that Gabriel would visit at the exact time that Aziraphale visited the shop for the first time in years, but he was grateful that he had picked now for a visit. He didn’t have Eden or Crowley in the building with him. It was just him. As far as Gabriel knew, it was only him to be concerned about. This, Aziraphale knew, was a good thing. 

“Hello Aziraphale!” Aziraphale heard Gabriel’s voice. Aziraphale came out of the backroom to greet him. Gabriel smiled once he saw Aziraphale. “You remember Sandalphon, right?” Aziraphale forced a smile. 

“How could I forget?” he asked. “Lovely to see you again.” Aziraphale tried to hide the stiffness in his voice. Sandalphon was not an angel to be messed with. 

“So, how’s the Antichrist?” Gabriel asked, walking to a spot that would force Aziraphale to be in the middle of him and Sandalphon.

“What do you mean? Is something wrong, I-I mean there’s nothing wrong, I would know if there was something wrong, I mean . . . He’s fine. I think it’s working.” 

“Oh you naive thing,” Gabriel said mockingly. “It isn’t working, he’s the Antichrist. No amount of an angel working with him will ever make him good.” 

“I’m not trying to make him good,” Aziraphale stammered. “Just less evil.” Gabriel shook his head.

“If he’s not bad and he’s not good, what would he be then?” Gabriel asked smugly. He absolutely  _ loved _ undermining Aziraphale.

“Human,” Aziraphale said. “He would be human.” Gabriel rolled his eyes.

“ _ Human _ ?” Gabriel said disgustedly, “He has Satan’s blood. He can’t be  _ human _ . He’s the Antichrist, Aziraphale. He’s not meant to be human. He’s meant to destroy the world so we can have our war.” 

“But there doesn’t have to be a war!” Aziraphale protested. 

“Of course there does!” Gabriel said. “How else are we going to show Hell that we are better than them? There’s a reason that they were the ones who were exiled, not us.” Gabriel shrugged. 

“Why do you have to get the humans involved? They didn’t do anything,” Aziraphale said. 

“They didn’t,” Gabriel admitted, “but we need  _ somewhere  _ for this to happen. Besides, that’s the Plan. We can’t go against the Plan.” 

“That’s to go against God!” Sandalphon added. Gabriel nodded. 

“Precisely. Even demons don’t dare go against Her.” Aziraphale knew that this wasn’t true. Even before Armageddon, Crowley was actively working against Her under Hell’s orders.

“Is that all you wanted?” Aziraphale asked. “To check in with the Antichrist?”

“I suppose it is. We will be checking in with you later.” Aziraphale nodded. 

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he lied. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week.   
> Find me on Tumblr @justanangelandhisdemon
> 
> I wanna know your theories on what you think is going to happen next. It could be how you think I'm going to do specific scenes or anything.


	3. Chapter 3

“They know, they know, they know,” Aziraphale said as soon as he got in the car. He’d completely forgotten to grab all of the stuff he was going to need. 

“What do they know?” Crowley asked with alarm. 

“They know about the Antichrist, they have to. I can’t think of anything that would make them show up unannounced like they did unless they know something went wrong.” Crowley sighed in relief. This was a problem, but it was a smaller problem than if they’d somehow found out about Eden.

“They didn’t want you working with the Antichrist anyway,” Crowley said calmly. “So them knowing Warlock was a fluke doesn’t really matter.” Aziraphale nodded and tried to convince himself of the same thing. Crowley was right. Gabriel had been trying to get Aziraphale to abandon the idea since he started working with Warlock. “Where’s the stuff?” Crowley asked. 

“Oh, dear! I forgot it,” Aziraphale lamented. “I’ll go-” Crowley shook his head. 

“Just tell me where it is. I will grab all of it for you,” he said. Aziraphale nodded and told Crowley everything. Aziraphale tried to focus himself on breathing. He needed to calm down. 

“What’s wrong?” Eden asked. Aziraphale shook his head. Eden was too young to start worrying his little head about everything that was going to go wrong this week. It was already starting to go wrong. If he hadn’t told Crowley to stay outside, Gabriel and Sandalphon would know about both Crowley and Eden, neither of which Aziraphale would have been able to have an explanation for. 

“Nothing, dearest,” Aziraphale said. “Just grown-up stuff, ok? Nothing you need to worry about.” 

“It’s ok,” Eden said. “It will be ok.” Aziraphale nodded. He knew that Eden was only parroting things that they had told him, but he allowed the words to calm him down anyway. They would figure this whole thing out, even if it meant jumping planets every few years to make sure Heaven and Hell never found them ever again. They were, after all, a family of supernatural beings that had the rest of time to use up. 

Crowley threw everything in the back seat of the Bentley before climbing into the driver’s seat and starting the car. He put one hand on the wheel and held out the other for Aziraphale. Aziraphale took it gratefully. Crowley always knew exactly what he needed to do in order for Aziraphale to calm down. 6,000 years of knowing an angel would do that. 

“What now then?” Crowley asked. “Back to the house?” Aziraphale shrugged. 

“I don’t know of anywhere else we could possibly go.” 

***

Aziraphale ended up shutting himself in his study. He only had a few days in order to find this Antichrist. He didn’t even know where to start. He looked at the pile of everything hopelessly. If only he had the  _ Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, witch _ to help him about. That would really help the process along. Of course, however, all of the copies of that had been burned when they had not sold, making it impossible to get ahold of. Aziraphale sighed and left the room. 

He found Crowley and Eden sleeping on the couch. Aziraphale smiled. The sight of the love of his life and their child sleeping could melt any heart. Aziraphale grabbed a blanket from the closet and covered the two of them. Eden curled into Crowley even further. Aziraphale ran his fingers through Eden’s hair before placing a kiss on his forehead. Technically speaking, he should wake the two of them so they could sleep in proper beds. Crowley oh so loathed the aches he got when he slept on the couch, but the two of them looked so peaceful that Aziraphale couldn’t manage it. Crowley rarely looked as peaceful as he did while he was asleep. Eden rarely settled down enough for sleep anymore anyway. Waking them up just to move them both to bed seemed stupid. 

***

“Crowley, where did you say the switch happened?” Aziraphale said. “Perhaps the hospital has records of the birth.” 

“I hadn’t thought of that,” Crowley said. 

“And there may have been a mix up in the switch,” Aziraphale said. “Someone else may have had a baby that day and ended up with the Antichrist without our knowing.” Crowley sighed. 

“That may also be true,” he said, as much as he hated to admit it. Admitting it meant that he had been wrong. That he had screwed up somewhere along the lines. Which would also mean that his own boss would be after him shortly. None of that would be good. The Dowlings had been the decided parents of the Antichrist. The fact that he had most likely been the one to cock that up and sent the Antichrist to the wrong people, well that wouldn’t mean anything good for Crowley. 

“Perhaps we should go find it today,” Aziraphale suggested. “It could lead us in the right direction.” Crowley nodded. 

“Yeah, alright,” he said.

After breakfast, Crowley got Eden dressed for the day while Aziraphale packed some lunches for them. It was going to be a long day and he did  _ not _ want to have to stop at a fast-food restaurant. He had  _ standards _ . Gabriel may not understand him ingesting “gross matter,” but fast-food was more  _ gross _ matter than anything else Aziraphale had ever consumed, and would ever consume. He would not allow his child to have anything so nasty. 

“Are you ready to go?” Crowley asked as soon as he was ready. Aziraphale nodded.

“Now’s as good a time as any. We don’t have much time.” Crowley nodded.   
“Well, I suppose we should get going then.” Aziraphale nodded. 

“We should indeed.” 

The three of them headed out to the Bentley. Crowley held Eden’s hand because Eden had decided that he wanted to walk out to the car. He was a big boy now and would not be treated like a baby. He was certainly  _ not  _ a baby. Crowley lifted him into the seat and Eden buckled himself in. Crowley adjusted everything to make sure it was on right in case something were to happen on the drive that might cause discorporation if not properly protected. 

“Well, this is going to be fun,” Crowley said as he turned on the radio to his “Best of Queen” CD, which seemed to be the only CD he had in his car, no matter how many others he bought. Aziraphale settled into his own seat and placed his hands on his stomach. 

_ Everything will be alright _ , he thought to himself.  _ We are getting everything worked out. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week.   
> Find me on Tumblr @justanangelandhisdemon


	4. Chapter 4

The hospital didn’t seem much a hospital at all, Aziraphale thought as they pulled up. It didn’t even seem like the sort of place that satanic nuns would have run eleven years ago. The environment around the place was gushing with too much love for it to feel as though it were satanic in nature. 

“Are you sure we’ve got the right place?” Aziraphale asked. “This place feels loved.” 

“It’s the place alright,” Crowley said. He would never forget this place for all of his days, the place where the start of the end went down. He had to admit, it looked different in the light than it did at night, but he knew it was the place. He’d recognized the gates outside as they pulled in. He had known something had changed though. He knew that the chattering order no longer ran the place. He’d expected the place to have fallen apart (why would anyone want to buy a place that satanic nuns had run?), but it couldn’t have been in better condition. He found a place to park in the parking lot (now  _ that  _ was certainly new) and they headed inside. 

Before they could get to the doors, something hit Crowley. He put his fingers to the spot and they came back red.  _ I’ve been shot _ . He wrote the lack of pain from the wound up to shock. Being  _ shot _ certainly hadn’t been on the to-do list for the day. He pressed his hand against the spot and looked to Aziraphale. Aziraphale, too, seemed to be in shock. 

“We can’t do this now!” Crowley said. He shook his head. “We still have a world to save!” 

“Blue!” Eden said, reaching over Aziraphale’s shoulder and touching the spot. Aziraphale looked at Eden’s hand. It was, in fact blue. 

“I think it’s paint, Crowley,” Aziraphale said. He wiped some of the paint off of Eden’s hand with his fingers and looked at it. “Paint,” he said again with confusion. 

“Oi, what are you playing at, you’ve both been shot!” A man said running up to Aziraphale and Crowley. Crowley turned his head into snake form and hissed at the man. The man fainted and dropped his weapon. Crowley picked it up. 

“You’re right about it being paint,” Crowley said as he studied the weapon. It was a gun designed specifically to shoot balls of paint at people. Now, what was the use in a weapon like that? No one was going to get hurt or killed with  _ paint _ . Aziraphale huffed. 

“I’ll never get this stain out,” He complained. “I have kept this coat in tip-top shape for over 180 years, but now look at it.” 

“You could just miracle it away,” Crowley said. 

“Yes, but, well . . . I would always know the stain was there. Underneath I mean.” Aziraphale knew exactly what he was doing. He was hoping that Crowley would just take care of the miracle for him. Crowley smiled. He knew exactly what Aziraphale was doing, but he fell for it anyway. Anything for his angel. He took two steps towards Aziraphale and blew on Aziraphale’s shoulder. The paint stain came off and floated away into the air before fading. Eden stared wide-eyed.

“Wow,” Eden said. 

“Someday you might be able to do that too,” Aziraphale said. “Maybe,” he said.

“Daddy will teach me?” Eden asked. Aziraphale nodded. 

“Both me and your daddy would be more than happy to teach you. But not right now,” Aziraphale said. 

There were two reasons that they hadn’t taught Eden about miracles yet. The biggest one was Heaven and Hell would both get reports of them. At least, Aziraphale assumed both offices would. They still weren’t quite sure if Eden was an angel, a demon, or something else entirely. That was assuming that Eden would even be able to perform miracles. They were doing a lot of assuming by thinking that he would. Both of his parents could perform them, however that didn’t automatically mean that this child would be able to. The other reason was that Eden was only three. He wasn’t quite old enough to understand the impact that some miracles could have on humans. With how closely he was with Warlock, they couldn’t risk Eden showing Warlock his abilities and not being able to come up with an explanation as to why Eden could do it. 

The three of them walked into the building. Crowley found a pamphlet right by the door and he picked it up. Nowhere on it did it mention that eleven years before, the building had been the home of a chattering order of satanic nuns. That was quite the factoid for the building, but Crowley was sure it would have driven away customers. For whatever this was. Shooting paint at each other seemed odd, though it wasn’t the weirdest thing he’d seen humans come up with. 

“Mommy, I want down!” Eden said. Aziraphale shook his head.

“You have to stay right here,” he said. Eden squirmed. 

“Down!” Eden complained. 

“Hush now,” Aziraphale said. “You will be ok.” Eden squirmed and Aziraphale adjusted his grip. Crowley kicked down a door. 

“Nothing in there,” Crowley said. “What do you suppose they did with the records. This clearly isn’t a hospital anymore.” Aziraphale shrugged, too busy wrestling with Eden to be able to come up with a response. He sighed. 

“If I let you down you have to stay here and hold either mine or Daddy’s hand,” Aziraphale said. “Do you hear me?” Eden nodded, so Aziraphale put him down. Eden grabbed hold of Crowley’s hand. 

“Oh dear, it is Master Crowley,” a woman said, panic filling her voice. She couldn’t imagine why the demon was there. Perhaps to punish her for starting a paintball field where she and a group of other women had once practiced satanism. The pair turned to the sound of the new voice. Crowley snapped his fingers and put her in a trance-like state. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” Aziraphale said. Crowley rolled his eyes. 

“Because we can have this former nun running around saying that there is a  _ demon _ on the premises.” 

“A nun you say?” Aziraphale asked. Crowley nodded.

“I’m quite sure of it. That is the only excuse I have for her knowing exactly who I am.” Aziraphale turned his attention to the woman. She was as good of a bet as anything that they had at the current second. 

“Hello,” he said. “Were you a nun here eleven years ago?” He asked. 

“Yes,” The woman said without emotion. Aziraphale looked back to Crowley, surprised that Crowley was actually right. It wasn’t like Crowley to pay attention to little details in a human’s words. 

“What are the odds? This is exactly the person we need,” Aziraphale said. “Did you keep records here?” 

“Oh yes, lots of records,” The woman said. “We were quite good at keeping records. Records for everything.” Aziraphale smiled. 

“Where are they now?” Aziraphale asked. 

“Burned in the fire,” the woman said dryly. Crowley groaned and took a step away from the woman. 

“Daddy?” Eden asked. Crowley came back. 

“Do you remember anything about the night the Antichrist was born? About the family he was sent home with? Anything at all?” Aziraphale asked. The woman smiled. 

“Yes. The ambassador was so nice. He was just here from Swindon! And the Antichrist had cute little tosie wosies.” 

“What did they do with the baby?” Crowley demanded. 

“I don’t know,” the woman said. Crowley shook his head. 

“A dead end,” Crowley said to Aziraphale. “Our only lead and it is dead.” 

“Oh don’t be like that,” Aziraphale said, though he was starting to feel much the same way. This was the only place that he knew where to look for the Antichrist. They didn’t have any help whatsoever besides what they’d gathered from this former satanic nun, which was exactly nothing. Aziraphale smiled at the woman. “You will awake having dreamed of whatever you like best,” he said as he snapped his fingers. He scooped Eden up (much to Eden’s protests) and the pair of them walked out of the building. Once the three of them were back to the Bentley, he placed Eden in his seat before getting into his own spot. 

“What are we going to do now?” Crowley asked. “It’s hopeless.” Aziraphale shook his head. 

“I don’t know,” He said. Aziraphale thought for a moment. “Shouldn’t we be able to, I don’t know, sense him?”

“What do you mean?” Crowley asked in confusion.

“Well, we’re two supernatural beings,” Aziraphale said. “We have been around since the dawn of time. We should be able to  _ sense _ things. Like you were able to sense when the boy got the dog.” Crowley shook his head. 

“He’s the Antichrist,” Crowley said, starting the car. “He’s got a sort of . . . shield on him. Suspicion drips off him like . . . what does water drip off of?” Crowley shook his head. “Well, we’re not going to be able to sense him because he’s protected against that.” Aziraphale stayed silent for a few more seconds, pondering what their next step could possibly be. They only had a few days and they did not have a single lead on where this eleven-year-old little boy could be.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this,” Aziraphale said tentatively. “But I have a group of . . . of highly trained human operatives. Humans might be able to find him. Humans are good at finding other humans.” 

“I’ve got something similar,” Crowley said. 

“What’s opative?” Eden asked. 

“A secret agent,” Aziraphale said. “Someone who can work for me to find something.” 

“Cool!” Eden said. Aziraphale nodded. 

“Cool indeed.” 

“We don’t even know what we’re looking for though, how are you going to send the humans on a wild goose chase just to try and find the Antichrist?” Aziraphale sighed. 

“I suppose you’re right, but it’s the best we’ve got right now.” Crowley shrugged. “Shall they work together?” Aziraphale asked. “They might be able to find things better if they’re all sharing the same information. 

“Mine aren’t very sophisticated. Politically speaking,” Crowley said.

“Yes, mine aren’t either.” 

“Ducks!” Crowley said. 

“Ducks?” 

“They’re what water slides off.” 

“Just drive the car,” Aziraphale said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week.   
> Find me on Tumblr @justanangelandhisdemon


	5. Chapter 5

The trio drove for a while, stopping once at a park to eat their lunches and let Eden out to play for a few hours. The day had been dreadfully long. Even longer for the child who’d not been allowed out of his car seat for most of it. He needed to run and burn off some energy before heading home. Eden had been grateful for a new park to explore. His parents were always taking him to the same one to meet up with Warlock. It was nice to have something new for once. Though he was also three and was more excited to just be at the park than anything.

Eden was exhausted by the time Crowley and Aziraphale decided it was time to head on their merry way back home. They had a long drive ahead of them, and Aziraphale wanted to get home before it was  _ too  _ late. He still wanted to go through with reading to Eden before he was off to sleep. 

It didn’t take long, however, for the pair to be forced to stop again. Crowley was absentmindedly driving when something or rather some _ one _ hit the side of the car. 

“You’ve hit someone!” Aziraphale exclaimed.

“I didn’t,” Crowley said without a care. “Someone hit me.” Aziraphale glared at Crowley before getting out of the car. He kneeled over the woman to examine any damage that might have been done to her. He noticed that her arm was broken and sighed. 

“Crowley look at what you’ve done to this poor woman!” He shook his head. “No broken bones,” he said as he waved his hand above her arm. The bone quickly healed itself. The woman groaned. 

“I think I hit my head,” she said. Aziraphale looked over to the bike and miracled it to be fixed. 

“Where can we take you?” Aziraphale asked. 

“No, no, no. We are not giving her a ride. Besides, there’s nowhere to put the bike.”

“Except for the bike rack,” Aziraphale said, pointing to the bike rack that hadn’t been there before. Crowley sighed and got in the car. Once Aziraphale wanted something, there was no getting him off of it. Especially when it came to helping people. Crowley sometimes hated the fact that Aziraphale was a literal angel. It was so inconvenient at times. He turned around to look at Eden while Aziraphale helped the woman with her bike. 

“Mommy’s a little crazy, isn’t he?” Crowley said. “You don’t just take random humans off the side of the street!” 

“You hit her with your car,” Aziraphale said as he got in. “It is the least that we can do.” The woman got in and looked between the two men. Something seemed off about them. She didn’t think that they were human, but she didn’t know why. There was just something about them. She tried to look at their auras to see if those would reveal anything, but neither of them even had an aura. Odd.

“Well, where are we taking you?” Crowley said, fake sugar thrown in his voice. The woman knew it was fake. He wasn’t even trying to hide it. She didn’t care though. What she was concerned about was the fact that these two were not human. That was the only reason she’d agreed to the ride. She didn’t know what would have happened to her had she refused.

“Back to the village,” the woman said. “I will give you directions.” Crowley looked over to Aziraphale before heading off again, back towards Tadfield. 

“What were you doing?” Aziraphale asked, acknowledging all of the weird objects that she was carrying with her. Objects that a witch typically used. The woman bit her lip, unsure of an excuse to give them. 

“I was working,” the woman said. 

“Out in a field alone?” Crowley said bewildered, “Angel, I think we’ve picked up  _ quite _ the stranger. I  _ told _ you we shouldn’t pick her up.” Aziraphale raised his eyebrows. 

“That doesn’t excuse you for hitting her with your car. Besides, I would know if she was going to cause harm to anyone. And she is not.” 

“Pish posh,” Crowley said. “You and your believing you know everything.” Aziraphale shrugged. 

“I do know quite a bit more about things than a  _ human _ would.” 

“Excuse me, but who are you?” the woman asked. 

“I believe we could be asking the same question,” Crowley said. 

“I asked first,” the woman said firmly. 

“I am Ezra Fell, and this is Anthony Crowley,” Aziraphale said. Crowley rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything. The woman shook her head. 

“What are you?” 

“I beg your pardon?” Aziraphale asked. 

“She knows,” Crowley whispered. 

“We’re people, just like you,” Aziraphale said. “Nothing to worry about.” The woman shook her head. “Just typical humans.”

“No. You’re not,” the woman said. “You are not human.” 

“She  _ knows _ ,” Crowley hissed.

“Quite obviously she knows,” Aziraphale said. “But there is no excuse not to help her. You hit her with your car.” 

“Would you stop bringing that up. That doesn’t mean anything right now,” Crowley said.

“Would someone please explain what is going on?” Eden woke up and blinked slowly. He looked over to the strange woman sitting beside him. He was certain that she hadn’t been there before. However, Daddy was in the driver’s seat, and Mommy was riding in her usual seat, so Eden didn’t think of her as a threat. 

“Who are you?” Eden asked her. The woman looked over to the child. She could only hope he was where he belonged. 

“My name is Anathema Device,” the woman said. 

“I’m Eden!” Eden said proudly. “Eden Fell!” So he did belong to at least one of these men, she concluded. “What are you doing?” 

“Your dad and erm, Mr. Crowley are taking me home.” Eden cocked his head. 

“Mamma, who’s Mr. Crowley?” Eden asked.  _ Mamma? _ Anathema thought.  _ That’s an odd title for a child to call a man. _

“Crowley is your daddy’s name,” Aziraphale said.  _ Daddy? _

“Oh, turn left right here,” Anathema said. Crowley did as he was told. The quicker this woman would get out of his car the better for everyone. Especially the woman. She was asking for things that he didn’t want her to know, they couldn’t  _ let _ her know. The turn led them right for a house. “This is it,” Anathema said. Crowley stopped the car and Aziraphale got out of the car to help Anathema get her bike off the rack. 

Anathema watched as the car headed off. She could not for the life of her figure out what those two men were. There was something odd about the whole exchange. She felt like some magic had to have been involved in order for them to have gotten the results of that night. There was no way that she hadn’t gotten hurt at all, no way her bike hadn’t gotten damaged, and no way that Bentley didn’t get a dent in it. She had been hit by a car on her bike. However, they had left her at her cottage completely unharmed. As far as she was aware at least. She wasn’t going to risk anything though and was going to assume that the ride home had cost her something. She just had to figure out what. 

***

Later that night, they arrived back home. Eden had fallen asleep again, which meant no bath for the night. It would have to wait until morning. Aziraphale gently took him out of his seat, careful not to wake him up. He looked over to the spot where the woman had sat and found a book. He simply picked it up to examine it later. Crowley held open the front door and followed Aziraphale as he carried Eden upstairs to his bedroom. 

Without speaking, Crowley went to Eden’s pajama drawer and grabbed the first set he could find while Aziraphale laid Eden on his bed and took his shoes off of him. Crowley walked over and handed Aziraphale the clothes and the two of them carefully undressed their son and changed him into the pajamas (which would be much more pleasant to sleep in). Crowley tucked Eden into bed. The two of them hesitated on their way out the door. Neither of them wanted to leave, but they knew they should. It had been a long day for both of them. 

“Oh, the woman left this book,” Aziraphale said. He picked it up and turned it over so he could see the title for the very first time.  _ The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, witch _ . Aziraphale’s eyes went wide. 

“What is it?” Crowley asked. Aziraphale handed the book over to Crowley. “This doesn’t mean anything to me. Haven’t humans  _ always _ had prophecy books?”

“Yes, but this one is the only one that is said to be  _ true _ ,” Aziraphale said. “I thought all of them had been destroyed.” They arrived in their bedroom and miracled themselves into pajams themselves. They crawled into bed. Crowley fell asleep almost instantly. Aziraphale, however, had other plans for the night.

He carefully opened the book to the title page. There was a drawing of a girl that a child had done on the front page. Aziraphale ran his fingers down it before opening to a random page in the book. “ _ at which hour the angel reads these w'rds, his loveth sleeps beside that gent, his secret safe anoth'r day _ ,” Aziraphale read aloud. He looked over to Crowley, who was in fact asleep.  _ What secret though? _ Aziraphale thought.  _ Crowley doesn’t keep secrets _ . Aziraphale shook his head. Neither of them kept secrets from each other, especially not since their son Eden had been conceived. Keeping secrets from each other  _ and _ their respective head offices just seemed to be too much work for either of them to bother with. 

Aziraphale got up. He suddenly wasn’t in the mood to sleep at all. He had to pick through the book and figure out where the Antichrist was. If anyone would know, it was going to be Agnes Nutter, witch. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week.   
> Find me on Tumblr @justanangelandhisdemon


	6. Chapter 6

Aziraphale ended up staying up all night long reading all the prophecies. He couldn’t help himself. It was so interesting to know that this witch had died in 1656 and knew everything that was ever going to happen in the history of the world. He couldn’t imagine how. He himself didn’t even know that information and he was an angel from Heaven. Once he got to the parts about the Antichrist, he started making notes in the margins of the book trying to decode some of the prophecies. He heard a knock on the door. 

“Aziraphale,” Crowley called drowsily. “Are you alright?” 

“Yes, dear!” Aziraphale said, quickly scribbling something down.  _ Sum say It cometh in London Town, or New Yorke, butte they be Wronge, for the place is Taddes Fild, Stronge inne hys powr, he cometh like a knight inne the fief, he divideth winde into 4 partes, he bringeth the storme. Where the Hogg's back ends the young beast will take the world and Adam's line will end in fire and darkness.  _ Tadsfield? It really could not be that simple. They had just been there! Crowley opened the door. It didn’t seem as if it should possibly be that easy.

“What are you doing?” Crowley asked. 

“Finding the Antichrist,” Aziraphale said. “I believe he’s in Tadsfield.” 

“Why because some dead witch said so?” 

“Precisely,” Aziraphale said. He pushed the book over so Crowley could read it. “Look at this.” Aziraphale pointed to the prophecies. “This makes so much sense.” 

“It seems like nonsense to me, but if you think it is helping, it is as much of a lead as we have right now.” Aziraphale nodded and opened the Bible to Revelations 13:18.  _ This calls for wisdom. Let the person who has insight calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man. That number is 666.  _

“I think we need to try calling,” Aziraphale said. “Of course, I’ll have to put the Tadsfield area code first,” Aziraphale said as he pulled his phone book out. “But I think,” He began to put the number into his rotary phone, “That I can get ahold of him.” He held the phone to his ear as he put in the final number. Crowley watched with anticipation. 

“Triple six Hogsback lane, this is Arthur speaking,” A man said as he answered the phone. 

“Dad look, I’ve gotten Dog to stand up on his hind legs!” someone called from further away from the phone. Aziraphale gasped. 

“I-I’m sorry,” Aziraphale said. “Right number!” He slammed the phone down. Crowley stared at Aziraphale. 

“So you’ve found him?” Aziraphale turned to Crowley, his jaw slack. His eyes were wide and he couldn’t say anything. “Aziraphale?” Aziraphale nodded before quickly jotting down the phone number. He handed the paper to Crowley. 

“Do you think you could find his address from this?” Crowley shrugged. 

“It can’t be that hard,” Crowley said. He pulled out his phone and typed the number into the Google search engine. With just a few clicks, he had found the address. “Arthur and Deirdre Young. Right here.” Crowley said. He showed Aziraphale his screen. 

“No demon work?” Aziraphale asked. Crowley shook his head. 

“Nope, this is it.” 

“Right,” Aziraphale said. “Well I will be sending my men on it then,” Aziraphale said. “Unless you would rather we send yours?” 

“And what are they going to be able to do about it?” Crowley asked. “I think we have to go ourselves. At this point, he’s either going to start the end of the world or he’s not. There is no in-between, and no human has the ability to stop him if he were to pick the first.” 

“That is true, I suppose,” Aziraphale said. “But what can we do?” 

“I suppose we’d have to figure that out when we get there,” Crowley said. “But there’s no need to go now. The big thing is happening tomorrow. Shall we just enjoy today? I think I would like to take Eden to a movie.” Aziraphale nodded. 

“I suppose we should since this might be our last day on Earth,” Aziraphale said. “But I do have a few things left to tie up at the bookshop first.” Crowley nodded. 

“Alright. I’ll drive you there.” 

“Thank you, dearest,” Aziraphale said. 

***

“Mummy just has some things to do,” Crowley said to Eden’s question. “But we are going to go have some fun.” Eden smiled. 

“Ok Daddy,” he said. 

Crowley had made sure that the theater would be empty. He didn’t want any humans there to ruin his son’s first (and possibly only) trip to the theater. He had decided on the first kids’ movie that he was able to find. He bought some popcorn and a giant cup of soda. He led Eden to the theater and found them a place to sit right in the center. Not too close to the screen, but not too far. Eden sat down excitedly. 

“Do you want some popcorn?” Crowley said, offering the bucket to Eden. Eden grabbed a piece and shoved it in his mouth. Crowley took a whole handful. 

The movie was quite unremarkable for the most part. The only thing that kept Crowley from dozing off was the fact that he was completely in charge of his son all on his own, a treat he usually didn’t get. He didn’t want to deal with the consequences of leaving a three-year-old unattended in a movie theater. It was bad enough when he dozed off at home. About halfway through the movie, Eden decided that he no longer wanted to be in his own chair and crawled into Crowley’s lap. 

“Crowley!” Hastur growled. Crowley jumped and stared at the screen. Eden looked to Crowley. 

“That bunny just said your name!” 

“Hush,” Crowley said, trying to get Eden off his lap. He knew that Hastur would be able to see him if he looked into the room. The rabbit in question took off its head as if it had been a mascot the entire time. “Get down,” Crowley whispered. 

“But the movie!” Eden said. Crowley hissed. Hastur’s face twisted in confusion, momentarily forgetting why he’d called upon Crowley to begin with. 

“Who’s that?” Hastur asked. Crowley froze. He’d been caught. He racked his brain to come up with a lie. Hastur shook his head. “Later.” His face twisted back in rage. “Where is the Antichrist?” 

“What do you mean?” Crowley asked innocently, arms firmly wrapped around Eden. “I thought you had Warlock shipped off the fields where Armageddon is happening?” 

“Warlock Dowling is not the Antichrist,” Hastur said. “He-he said I smelled of poo.” 

“I can see his point,” Crowley replied. Hastur gritted his teeth. 

“Where is he?” Crowley shrugged. 

“If Warlock isn’t him, I have no idea,” Crowley lied. “I’ve been keeping an eye on Warlock, so if he isn’t the Antichrist, you’re as shocked as I am.” Hastur huffed, giving up on getting anything about the Antichrist out of Crowley. 

“Who is  _ that _ child?” Hastur asked. Crowley looked down at Eden. He’d been hoping that Hastur would forget he was there. Of course, luck would never have things  _ Crowley’s _ way.

“I’m Eden!” Eden said unhelpfully. 

“Eden, where are your parents?” Hastur asked. 

“Daddy’s right here!” Eden said, pointing to Crowley. “Mummy is working.” Hastur looked at Crowley. 

“You never said you had a child,” Hastur said, the tone said that Crowley was going to be in big trouble for it, which Crowley was not surprised by. These things generally weren’t supposed to happen anyway, let alone in the way that Eden had come about.

“I guess it never came up,’ Crowley said, trying to brush him off. The less information he gave about the toddler, the better for them all. Hastur scowled. 

“Stay where you are, we are coming to collect you,” Hastur said. Crowley stood up as quickly as he could, picked Eden up, and darted out the door. Just in time too, because the screen had become a gruesome mess that he wouldn’t want Eden to see anyway. As soon as he was in the Bentley, he texted Aziraphale. 

_ Hell knows. _

_ Hell knows _ what _ my dear,  _ Aziraphale quickly replied. 

_ About Eden. They don’t know who his mom is yet, but they are going to really really quickly. I’m dropping him off. Hastur is coming to get me. _ Crowley didn’t keep his phone out long enough to get Aziraphale’s reply. He pressed his foot on the gas and went as quickly as he could back to the bookshop. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week.   
> Find me on Tumblr @justanangelandhisdemon


	7. Chapter 7

Earlier

“Aziraphale!” Uriel called. Aziraphale turned. 

“Ah, hello,” he said. “What can I do for you?” Two other angels, Michael and Sandalphon, followed Uriel. Aziraphale’s face fell. 

“We have been finding some disturbing things about you,” Michael said. “You’ve been a bit of a . . . fallen angel, haven’t you? Consorting with the enemy. Aziraphale, it is time to chose sides.” Aziraphale looked between the three members of the group. 

“Well, erm, yes. Yes, I do quite believe so,” Aziraphale said. “I’ve been thinking quite a lot on that. On the whole “choosing sides” thing.” He looked to the sky. “And, well, there doesn’t need to be a war!” 

“You think too much,” Uriel said. Before Aziraphale had the chance to respond, Sandalphon kicked Aziraphale, causing him to double over in pain. Uriel grabbed Aziraphale by the collar and forced him upright. 

“I-I you can’t do this! Aziraphale said. None of the other angels responded. “I’m- I’m going to have to take this up with . . . up with, well a higher authority.” 

“You really think upstairs will take your call?” Uriel brought their face closer to Aziraphale’s. “You’re ridiculous.” Uriel opened their mouth to say something else, but a horn sounded, alerting them that they had to go back to Heaven. They shoved him against the wall just to prove their point before backing away. The three angels looked Heavenward and shot up into the sky. 

“You . . . you . . .” Aziraphale paused to think of a word that was bad enough to call them. Nothing seemed bad enough. “You bad angels!” He declared. The word stung him. Angels weren’t supposed to be  _ bad _ . They were the  _ good _ guys. There weren’t supposed to be  _ bad angels _ . Bad angels were supposed to be called  _ demons. _ Aziraphale rushed inside and began preparing the ritual of speaking to God. His phone buzzed, a text from Crowley no doubt. 

He was, in fact correct. The contents of the text were alarming.  _ Hell knows about Eden _ . If they had found out about Eden, it wouldn’t be long before they found out more of his heritage and they were all going to be in trouble. Crowley texted Aziraphale again once he arrived so that Aziraphale could run out and quickly grab their son. 

“What’s wrong with Daddy?” Eden asked. Aziraphale didn’t know how to answer the question. The real answer was “Daddy might be dying when they come to get him” but you very well couldn’t tell a three-year-old child that. 

“He just has some last-minute errands to run,” Aziraphale lied. “He’ll be back in a little bit.” Aziraphale carried Eden into the book shop. “Everything will be ok.” Eden nodded. 

“Ok Mommy.” Aziraphale let out a breath. Eden didn’t need to be worried about what would happen. Aziraphale wasn’t even sure himself, but he didn’t want the baby to be worrying his little head about it, especially when there was nothing at all that he could do about it. Aziraphale finished out the ritual with Eden on his hip. He put Eden down. 

“Hello,” Aziraphale said with his head bowed, eyes closed, and hands folded. “This is the Principality Aziraphale, I need to speak with . . . with a higher authority.” A light flashed and a giant head appeared. 

“Yes, Aziraphale?” 

“Am I speaking . . . to God?” 

“I am the Metatron, to speak to me is to speak to God,” the Metatron said. 

“Ah, yes, well, I would like to complain about the conduct of a few angels, but more importantly, I have found the Antichrist,” Aziraphale said. 

“Good job,” the Metatron said without interest. 

“There doesn’t have to be a  _ war _ !” Aziraphale said excitedly. 

“But of course there does,” The Metatron said. “Wars are meant to be won, not avoided.” Aziraphale’s face fell. 

“Ah,” Aziraphale said. 

“We need you up here,” the Metatron said. 

“I’ve just . . . got a few things left to tie up, down here. I’ll be up. Two shakes of a lamb’s tail.” 

“We will leave the gate open for you. Do not dawdle.” 

“Right, yes, tickety boo,” Aziraphale said as the face faded to a low glow on the floor. Aziraphale picked Eden up again and grabbed his phone. Nothing from Crowley. That was not good news. He shook his head. Perhaps Crowley was fine. Crowley would be fine. He had to be fine. They were stopping the end of the world.  _ Crowley had to be ok. _

“Stop fiend!” Sergeant Shadwell said upon bursting into the room. “I see you seducin’ women to do your dirty work.” 

“Oh, I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong shop,” Aziraphale said, backing up, careful not to step inside the circle. “Please don’t step inside the circle.” Shadwell took a step forward. 

“Demon!” Shadwell accused. Aziraphale shook his head. 

“That couldn’t be further from the truth, I’m afraid,” Aziraphale replied.

“I am going to exorcise you,” Shadwell said.

“That’s fine.” Aziraphale sighed. Shadwell was always one that he hated having to work with, but no one else had quite the touch with the world of the supernatural (even if Shadwell didn’t realize his own power). Aziraphale stepped around the circle. “Just don’t step inside the circle.” Shadwell hit the bell on Aziraphale’s desk. 

“Bell.” He picked a book up off the floor. “Book.” He pulled a lighter out of his pocket. “And candle.”

“Mummy, I’m scared,” Eden whispered. Aziraphale nodded. 

“It’s quite alright to be afraid, but I won’t let him hurt you.” Eden buried his face into Aziraphale’s shoulder. Aziraphale held him tighter. “It’s alright dearest,” Aziraphale murmured. “Everything is ok.” Shadwell started mumbling things Aziraphale didn’t quite catch. Seeing him getting close to the circle, Aziraphale darted to the other side to keep him out of it. “Stay out of the circle you stupid man!” Aziraphale said. At that exact moment, Shadwell stuck his finger in Aziraphale’s face. Aziraphale stumbled backward. He looked to his feet with dismay. He had stumbled right into the circle. “Oh,” his face twisted, trying to find the best word for the second time. He didn’t want to curse, especially not with his child on his hip, but nothing else quite so perfectly summed up what he was feeling. “Fuck,” he concluded as the lights flashed. He and his son were sent shooting into the sky. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week.   
> Find me on Tumblr @justanangelandhisdemon


	8. Chapter 8

Crowley decided to go to his apartment. He hadn’t been there in a number of years due to moving in with Aziraphale, but he still kept it around specifically so that he could still tell Hell that it was his address. He couldn’t tell Hell the fact that he and Aziraphale owned a house together. There was no logical reason for that to have happened. At least in the eyes of Hell there weren’t. Consorting with the enemy was a highly punishable offense. Besides, this is where he was keeping his holy water. Right now, that was his weapon of choice. 

He pulled the canister out and got a bucket. He pulled some gloves on and carefully poured the canister into the bucket. All of it. He carefully balanced the bucket on top of the door before going to where his plant room used to be and grabbing his old plant mister and filling it with regular water. 

“Crowley!” He heard Hastur call. 

“In here!” Crowley called out to Hastur. He watched as Ligur pushed the door open. The world seemed to slow for a moment as the bucket fell on top of Ligur’s head. The bucket melted from the impact of being on a demon who was disintegrating. Hastur screamed in horror. He continued to scream as he walked around the pile of Ligur’s clothes and into the room. He looked at Crowley.   
“That-that’s holy water!” 

“The holiest,” Crowley said with a wicked smile. 

“But he didn’t even do anything to you!” 

“Yet,” Crowley finished. Hastur looked back to the pile of Ligur’s clothes, which gave Crowley a moment to grab the plant mister. Hastur rolled his eyes at the sight of it. 

“What’s that going to do?” 

“Do you know what this is?” Hastur remained silent. “This is a plant mister. The most effective and cheapest on the market. And it is full of holy water.” Hastur stared at it for a moment. 

“You’re bluffing.” 

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. Are you feeling lucky?” Hastur stared at the bottle. He watched as a droplet of water landed on Crowley’s finger. He also watched as the water did nothing. 

“Yeah, I am. Are you?” Hastur stuck his hand out and caused the plant mister to explode. Crowley shook out his hand and looked up at Hastur before thinking of a new plan. 

“Well, Hastur, Duke of Hell, you passed the test!” Hastur gave him a look of confusion. Crowley smiled. “The Dark Council wants you to lead your very own troop into the war,” Crowley said. “But they obviously couldn’t trust you, so they asked me to test you. But I know you aren’t going to believe me. So how about we call the Dark Council.” Crowley pulled out his phone and dialed his home phone number. 

“You’re calling the Dark Council?” Hastur said with disbelief. 

“Yeah!” Crowley said, hoping he sounded convincing. He knew that Hastur was stupid, but he didn’t want to count on the other demon being a blockhead too much. “They say to tell you  _ so long sucker _ .” Crowley stuck his tongue out at Hastur before disappearing into the phone line. He was hoping that Hastur would follow him, but he had no way of knowing if he did at that moment. 

“Crowley!” Hastur called. Crowley smiled. He did exactly what he needed to do. “Where you get out, I’ll get out!” Hastur said. Crowley rolled his eyes and prepared to exit the phone line. The moment he was fully out, he flipped a switch, trapping Hastur in voicemail. Crowley laughed in triumph as he sauntered out the door. The next stop was the bookshop. 

He sauntered out of the apartment feeling confident for the first time in a while. He had erased a demon’s existence and had a duke of Hell trapped in his answering machine. Now the only problem would be if someone were to call him. But he wouldn’t worry about that now. Even if someone did call Crowley, Hastur would still have to refind Crowley. By that point, the world would probably be in the process of melting and Crowley and Aziraphale would have ditched the place to go to Alpha Centauri. He got in the Bentley and drove over to the bookshop without a care in the world. However, what he found once he arrived to the bookshop was quite alarming.

The bookshop was on fire. He heard the wail of a fire truck. A crowd of people had begun to gather outside. Some people just curious about the fire, others working to help stop it. He parked the Bentley and went inside, ignoring the firefighters that tried to stop him. He looked around hoping to find Aziraphale right away. Of course, he wouldn’t have any such luck. 

“Aziraphale!” he called. “Aziraphale where the Heaven are you?” He took a few more steps into the shop. “Eden?” He called. “Eden, baby, come to Daddy.” Nothing. Crowley’s knees buckled and he fell to the ground. He couldn’t think logically. The fire meant that Aziraphale and Eden had been discorporated. Discorporation meant that Heaven was going to find out about Eden. “Aziraphale, Eden!” He called more desperately. They couldn’t be discorporated. They  _ couldn’t _ be discorporated. He wouldn’t allow any such thing. Deep down, however, he knew that they were gone. Both of them. Gone. Probably forever at this point. They hadn’t stopped the end of the world just yet, and they might not even have a hand in stopping it.

He would never see them again. “Aziraphale,” he said softer than he had before, no longer having the ability to yell, “Eden,” he said, though it was barely a whisper. “Please be ok,” Crowley said, though he knew from the look of the shop that they couldn’t be ok. Aziraphale would never let anything like this happen to the shop. Not willingly at least. Which meant that Aziraphale wasn’t here. 

Crowley wrapped his arms around himself and cried for the first time in a long time. The love of his life was gone. His son was gone. He had only himself to blame. If he hadn’t let Aziraphale do whatever he was needing to do in the shop, if he hadn’t dropped Eden off, they would be ok. Both of them should have been ok. It was all his fault. 

“Sir, can you stand?” A firefighter asked. Crowley laid down. 

“Leave me be!” Crowley demanded. “Can’t you see I’ve got nothing to live for anymore.” The firefighter, having none of Crowley’s shit, hoisted Crowley up over his shoulder. Crowley tried to squirm away, but all of the fight had left his body. Everything he and Aziraphale had been working for had been for nothing. The world was going to end for humanity tomorrow. Crowley’s world was over now. 

Once the firefighter put Crowley down and ran back inside, Crowley headed for the Bentley. He looked to the backseat where Eden’s seat and a few of his toys sat. He grabbed one of the stuffed animals, a tiger that Eden had creatively named Tiger, and held it to his chest. He shut his eyes and tried to block out reality. If he ignored it long enough, his son and husband would come back to him. It was that simple. Because they weren’t really gone. He was just having a nightmare. 

“You’re not gone,” Crowley whispered. “I refuse to believe it.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week.   
> Find me on Tumblr @justanangelandhisdemon


	9. Chapter 9

“Mummy, where are we?” Eden asked. Aziraphale took a deep breath.

“We’re in Heaven,” Aziraphale said. He shook his head. This was bad. This was very  _ very _ bad. The last thing that they needed right now was for Heaven to find out about Eden as well.

“We  _ died? _ ” Eden asked in fear. Aziraphale shook his head.

“Not. . . . exactly.” Aziraphale turned around. “Hello!” He called to the quartermaster. “Um, sorry to ask this, but I still had a few things left to tie up,” Aziraphale said. “Down there.”

“You’re already late,” the quartermaster said with a scowl. He looked at Eden. “Who is that?” Aziraphale looked to Eden and bit his lip. He hadn’t even thought of an excuse for the baby. This was going to go poorly.

“Ah, this, this is-”

“Eden!” Eden interrupted. The quartermaster raised his eyebrows. 

“Eden? I don’t know of an angel by that name.” He glared at the child. Aziraphale turned him so Eden wouldn’t have to see, even though Eden was too little to know what a glare even was. Besides, the less the quartermaster was able to see  _ Eden’s _ face, the less likely he was to be able to put together that Eden was half demon. Especially since the baby looked exactly like Crowley, aside from Aziraphale’s blond curls and blue eyes. 

“That’s one of the things that I wanted to talk to you about-”

“Where’s your body? You were issued with a body.” The quartermaster said suddenly. He could worry about the child in a moment. There were other things that needed to be checked in before he could let Aziraphale out of his sight. The body was one of them. Aziraphale looked at his hand but found that he could see through it. 

“Ah, yes, well it seems I accidentally discorporated it, discorporated both of us,” Aziraphale spoke as if it wasn’t a big deal, though the look on the quartermaster’s face said otherwise. “I hadn’t fully prepared to come into the circle and-” The quartermaster shook his head at Aziraphale, causing Aziraphale to shut up. 

“You show up  _ late  _ for Armegeddon and you don’t even have a body. But what you do have is,” he squinted at Eden. The quartermaster’s eyes went wide. “That . . . that  _ thing  _ is half-demon.” Aziraphale placed his hand where Eden’s head should be if the two of them hadn’t been discoporated. 

“I suppose you could say that,” Aziraphale said, trying to hide the fact that he was terrified out of his mind. They knew. And he had figured out that Eden wasn’t fully of Heaven or of Hell. The quartermaster studied Eden some more. 

“Where did you get it?” Aziraphale rolled his eyes. 

“You are a high ranking angel,” Aziraphale said, trying to appeal to the egocentric part of the quartermaster. The technique usually worked on Gabriel. “I’d have thought that you would know where babies come from.” The quartermaster’s jaw dropped.

“You didn’t.” Aziraphale turned around the quicker he could get out the better. The large rotating globe caught his attention. 

“How do you navigate with this?” Aziraphale asked. 

“You aren’t going anywhere until we get to the bottom of that,” the quartermaster said. 

“Erm, well, yeah. I think you know where  _ he _ came from,” Aziraphale said, distracted by the globe. “No further explanation needed.” He waved his hand trying to get the quartermaster to focus on something other than the child that Aziraphale was carrying. “I’ll just figure this out as I go.” Aziraphale touched the spot on the map where London, England, would be. The spot started glowing. Aziraphale and Eden were transported, leaving an angry, stuttery quartermaster behind. 

***

Aziraphale ended up in a bar right across from Crowley. Aziraphale sighed at the sight of the demon. Crowley was absolutely falling apart. He’d clearly already had a number of bottles of alcohol and was drinking another. His hair and clothes were a mess and he was mumbling to no one. 

“Hello, Crowley, can you hear me?” 

“Aziraphale?” Crowley asked with hope. 

“And Eden!” Eden said. Crowley’s face melted and he sobered up instantly. He didn’t want Eden to see his Daddy drunk. 

“Hello baby,” Crowley said with relief. “Where are you?”

“Not certain,” Aziraphale said. “But Heaven knows about Eden now too. They know he’s got demon in him” Crowley groaned. 

“This is a disaster.” Aziraphale sighed.

“I’m quite afraid it is,” Aziraphale replied. “Even if we manage to avert the war, our problems are not quite over.” Crowley sighed. 

“So what do you suggest we do?” Crowley asked. “We can’t just hide away forever. They  _ know _ .” 

“One problem at a time,” Aziraphale said. “I’m barely holding to stopping the war. What I need is a body.” Aziraphale sighed. “Pity I can’t inhabit yours. Angel and demon, probably explode.” Crowley shook his head. 

“Yeah, best not. What happened?” 

“Well . . .”

“We died and went to Heaven!” Eden said. 

“You _ what _ .” 

“We were discorporated and sent up to Heaven,” Aziraphale clarified. “We’re both alright. We just don’t have bodies.” Crowley sighed. Not having a body was an issue that he could live with. They could figure it out. Dead they couldn’t do so much about. “I’ll just find a receptive body that we can inhabit for the time being,” Aziraphale said. He knew he was starting to fade. “I’ll see you on the airbase!” He said. 

“The airbase,” Crowley said. “Right. World is ending tomorrow. Focus.” Crowley stood up and left without paying for anything that he’d drunk that day. He didn’t need to. The bottles had refilled themselves. Besides, he was a demon, he wasn’t supposed to be a do-gooder anyway. 

He decided to head home. There was nothing left for him in London for the moment, and their cottage was one hell of a lot closer to the airbase than London was. The shorter the drive to the airbase, the better. He knew that Aziraphale was already hard at work trying to find a body that would be strong enough to hold three people in it (letting a three-year-old inhabit someone else’s body without an adult there to control him probably wasn’t the best idea. Besides, Aziraphale was going to have a hard enough time finding  _ one _ body for them to inhabit. It would have to be a vulnerable body. Angels couldn’t possess people.

He was just going to have to spend the night in the house alone. He could live with that. For the night. Any longer than that and he would probably go crazy. He needed Aziraphale there to keep him sane, and he needed Eden so he wouldn’t be worry stricken for the rest of his life. This encounter, however, had helped ease Crowley’s fears. They weren’t dead. Just discorporated. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week.   
> Find me on Tumblr @justanangelandhisdemon


	10. Chapter 10

Aziraphale didn’t end up finding a body until the next afternoon. He found a nice woman by the name of Madame Tracy. She had been in the middle of pretending to be a medium (Aziraphale knew none actually existed now or in the past) to make money. A person had to do what they had to do, he knew. Living in a capitalistic society had been the worst decision any human had ever made. Aziraphale had promptly kicked Madame Tracy’s “guests” out upon gaining control. He had zero patience for anything that wasn’t Armageddon related. It was too late in the day to pay attention to anything besides the world ending.

“Oh dear, that’s quite the predicament,” Madame Tracy said once Aziraphale had finished filling her in on what was going on. “Are you sure it is today?”

“I’m afraid so,” Aziraphale said. Sergeant Shadwell came bursting into the room.

“You get off of-” He looked around the room in confusion. “Where did he go?” 

“Who?” Madame Tracy asked. 

“I thought I heard a southern pansy,” Shadwell said. 

“Not just  _ a _ southern pansy,  _ the  _ southern pansy,” Aziraphale said through Madame Tracy’s mouth. 

“Eden too!” Eden said through Madame Tracy. 

“Hush dear,” Aziraphale said. 

“Wha-”

“Mr. Aziraphale has just explained that the world is ending today unless we can get to the Tadfield airbase today,” she said. “I’ve got a scooter,” she offered helpfully.” It seemed that she was stuck in this situation anyway, so she may as well help Aziraphale reach his goals so he would hopefully be able to leave her be. 

“Jolly good,” Aziraphale said. “Mr. Shadwell, do you have any weapons?” Shadwell held up his finger. “Erm, we need something a little more substantial than that.” 

“I’ve got a gun, it’ll fire just about anything,” Shadwell replied, though he didn’t think that his gun would even compare to his finger. He had seen the power of it with his very own eyes. It had blasted a man clean off the face of the Earth.

“Perfect,” Aziraphale said. 

“What are we loadin’ it with?” Shadwell asked. “And is it a witch?” 

“I believe we are dealing with a witch,” Aziraphale said, knowing it was the only way to get Shadwell on board. 

“How many nipples does it got?” 

“I beg your pardon?” 

“Nipples, laddie, how many?” 

“Oh, um . . . oodles of nipples, buckets of em.” Shadwell smiled. 

“Garlic it is.” 

“That’s vampires.”

“Silver bullets?” 

“Werewolves.” 

“Wooden stake.”

“Vampires again.” 

“How about a brick.” 

“That’ll work perfectly.” Shadwell walked across the hall to grab the gun while Madame Tracy searched her apartment for the helmets. She hadn’t gotten the scooter out in a long time and couldn’t quite remember where she’d put them. 

“Mummy look! I can dance!” Eden tried to get Madame Tracy to dance, but Aziraphale’s spirit wouldn’t allow it. 

“Sweetie, you can dance any time you want to besides right now. We’re busy, alright dear?” Eden sighed. 

“Alright.” Madame Tracy moved the three of them to a cupboard in the kitchen and opened it. 

“Ah-ha!” She said triumphantly. “There they are.” She pulled them out just as Shadwell returned. 

“Are we ready to go then?” Aziraphale asked. Shadwell nodded. Tracy handed him a helmet and they headed down to the garage where the scooter was being held. 

“Now usually it doesn’t hold two people, but I think we can make an exception,” Tracy said. She climbed on it and started it. Shadwell climbed on behind her and grabbed hold of her waist. “Hold on Mr. Shadwell!” She said and off they went.

At ten miles per hour. 

“Does it go any faster?” Aziraphale asked. Tracy shook her head.

“It maxes at twenty anyway, but now we’re trying to carry two bodies, five people. It would take a miracle to get it to go any faster.”

“A miracle, right,” Aziraphale said. “Hold on Sergeant Shadwell!” Aziraphale performed the miracle. “Here we go!” He called as the scooter lifted off the ground and started off at around fifty miles per hour. 

“Mommy! We’re flying!” Eden called. 

“Indeed we are,” Aziraphale said. 

“Mommy?” Tracy asked. “Aren’t you a man?” 

“It’s complicated,” Aziraphale said, deciding it best not to discuss what gender is to angels with humans. That wasn’t important at the moment. Tracy shrugged.   
“If you say so,” she said, deciding it wasn’t best to question something that had been able to possess her. 

***

Once they arrived on the airbase, they were met with the problem of figuring out how to get into the airbase. The guard certainly wasn’t going to just let them in. Aziraphale parked the scooter on the ground and insisted they all get off of it and walk up to the gates. 

“Hello!” He called. “Can you let us in?” The guard stepped out of his little shack. 

“What is your business here?” 

“We are trying to stop the end of the world,” Aziraphale said. 

“He’s right, you know,” Tracy added. 

“You didn’t have to say any-”

“I was just trying to put in a good word-”

“Would you two shut up,” the guard said. “Or erm, ma’am.” 

“We really do need in,” Aziraphale said. “It is dreadfully important.” The guard shook his head.   
“I can’t do that without some sort of identification. And I can tell you right now that neither of you has any.” He looked at Shadwell. “And he has a gun.” The guard reached for his own gun. Aziraphale sighed. 

“Look, the world is ending-”

“You’ve already said that, but I don’t believe you.” 

“Then I don’t know what to tell you, but we are getting into that airbase.” An engine revved and Madame Tracy turned to see. It was a Bentley. She smiled. “Crowley,” Aziraphale sighed with relief.

“Hey Aziraphale,” Crowley said as he sauntered up. “Nice dress, it suits you.” 

“Daddy!” Eden said. Crowley smiled. 

“Eden! Hi buddy!” Crowley said. Eden tried to run towards Crowley, but Aziraphale wouldn’t let him. 

“Now this man won’t let us in,” Aziraphale said. “Can you-”

“Yes,” Crowley said. Before he was able to do anything, they heard bells on bikes as the gates opened. A group of four children rode past them on bicycles right past the guard. 

“Who did that? What did you do?” The guard looked between the group outside the gates and the group of children who had just ridden in as if they own the place. “You are all in big trouble and if-” Miss Tracy snapped, sending the man away. 

“Oh, nice one,” Crowley said. 

“I do hope I didn’t send him anywhere unpleasant,” Aziraphale replied. The group walked in and tried to catch up with the kids. One of them was the Antichrist, Crowley just knew it. He had his suspicions that it was the one who’d been in the lead on their way in. This suspicion was confirmed when the child told the soldiers to go to sleep and they all complied. Madame Tracy looked at Shadwell. “Can I have the gun?” Shadwell handed it over without argument. Madame Tracy aimed it at the ring leader of the children. He only had one shot and if he missed, he had no idea what would happen. Right before he pulled the trigger, Madame Tracy pointed the gun to the sky. 

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t let you do it,” she said. “You can’t just shoot children.” 

“Why are you three people?” The ring leader of the children asked. 

“Well you see-” Aziraphale started to explain.   
“It’s not right. Go back to being three different people.” It only took a moment, but Aziraphale and Eden were separated from Madame Tracy. Aziraphale handed Eden to Crowley before he touched his temple and his stomach and did a quick check on his body. When everything came back ok, he sighed in relief. All that time without a body really had him worried. 

“Now what,” Crowley whispered into Aziraphale’s ear. Aziraphale shook his head. 

“Now we wait.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week.   
> Find me on Tumblr @justanangelandhisdemon


	11. Chapter 11

The four henchmen walked out of the building to confront the Antichrist. The children whispered to each other and Crowley turned Eden away so he didn’t have to see what was about to happen, though Crowley wasn’t even positive of what was going to happen. Eden was three and didn’t need to see the end of the world. If it was going to happen. Crowley still wasn’t even sure if  _ that  _ much was going to happen.

“Who are you?” The ring leader asked. The woman dressed in red stepped forward. 

“I am War,” She said. “I am everywhere. You boys were born to fight in me, to die in me,” She smiled down at him. “And you get to start the biggest one of them all,” She said.

“I’m not a boy,” the little girl said. “That’s just sexist.” The woman pointed her flaming sword (which used to be a certain angel’s) at the little girl. 

“A little girl. My, my my, how times are changing,” War said. The little girl crossed her arms. “Girls fighting in war? Hmm.” War shrugged. “I suppose I’ll get used to it.” She smiled. “Though I won’t have long to do so.” War glanced back to the ring leader. 

“Just tell her what you believe,” he said to the little girl. The little girl nodded and made eye contact with War. 

“I believe in peace,  _ bitch _ .” War smirked right before she began disappearing into ash. 

The next henchman stepped up, undeterred by what had just happened. They singled out one of the little boys, one that wasn’t the ring leader. They made a circle around him before laughing. 

“Little boys, your oil rigs contribute to me more than anything else,” the henchman said.  _ Pollution. _

“Well, I believe in a clean world,” the boy said. This caused pollution to disappear. The other non-ring leader little boy stepped up to one of the two remaining henchmen. 

“And I believe in food,” he said. Famine smirked at the efforts. The ring leader let his dog loose on the henchman. “And a healthy lunch. It’s a good thing, really.” The dog (hellhound, really, Crowley guessed) bit Famine and he disappeared just as the other two henchmen had. 

“You cannot destroy me, boy,” The final henchman said. It must have been Death, the one and only. “To destroy me would be to destroy the world.” Death let out wings so dark they looked like voids and flew off into the sky, though they couldn’t see where it’d gone. A few moments later, a man and a woman ran out of the building. 

“What are you kids doing here?” The woman demanded. 

“Oh, look it’s book girl!” Crowley said. 

“You have my book?” The woman asked hopefully. Crowley shook his head. 

“It burned to a crisp, along with the rest of his collection,” Crowley pointed to Aziraphale. Aziraphale sucked in a breath and tried to pretend that the fact that his bookshop was gone didn’t hurt him at all. They were dealing with more important things. 

“What, so that’s all?” The ring leader asked. “That’s all we had to do to stop the end of the world?” Crowley turned his attention back to the child.

“Oh no,” Crowley said. “Both Heaven and Hell still want their war, and they can’t have it without your say so.” As if on cue, an angel descended from Heaven, and a demon rose from Hell. Both of them looked to the child in Crowley’s arms. 

“Hastur wasn’t lying,” Beelzebub mused. Gabriel looked at the child. Aziraphale took a step closer to Crowley. Crowley passed the child back over to Aziraphale so he could be in a better position to protect both of them. 

“It seems we have a different issue to take care of first,” Gabriel said, stealing one last glare to Eden before turning his attention to the Antichrist. “Adam Young,” Gabriel said with a smile. “Antichrist. You need to restart this war.” 

“No,” Adam said. 

“I’ve got this,” Beelzebub said to Gabriel’s frustrated sigh. They walked over to Adam and squatted down so they could be at eye level with Adam. “Once the world ends, you get control of it. Don’t you want to rule the world?” Adam shook his head. 

“I already have a hard enough time with my friends. I have all the world I want. I don’t want anything else.” Beelzebub straightened. 

“I see,” they said. They glared at the child, but he could be taken care of. As soon as they went back to Hell, they were going to tell his father, and his father would not be pleased. What couldn’t be taken care of that simply, however, was the child that the angel was holding. 

“Aziraphale,” Gabriel said before Beelzebub had the chance to say anything. “Whatcha got there?” Aziraphale turned his back on Gabriel and got his wings out. 

“That is none of your businessssss,” Crowley hissed. 

“It perfectly is his business,” Beelzebub said. “And I believe it is mine as well. Is it not, Crowley?” Gabriel tried to walk around Aziraphale in order to get a better look at the child, but he ended up being smacked away by Aziraphale’s wings when he turned. 

“It’s a child,” Crowley said, deciding to take a different approach to the situation. “So what?” 

“Ah, but it isn’t just any child, now is it?” Gabriel asked. “That is the child of an angel and a demon.” Crowley had nothing to say to that. Gabriel smirked. “Now this is all the proof that I need to take you both away to be executed.” 

“Leave him alone,” Crowley said. 

“Or what?” Gabriel taunted. “You’ll just go crying back to the angel?” He laughed. “You’re not a threat to me, demon.” 

“Can’t you see that they want you to leave them alone?” Adam asked. Gabriel and Beelzebub looked at each other and shrugged. 

“What does it matter to you, kid. Don’t get involved,” Beelzebub said. “It is better for you to not get yourself into any more trouble than you’re already in.” 

“The only conflict I want you part of is starting this fucking war,” Gabriel said. 

“I won’t do that, but I will tell you to leave them alone.” Adam nodded. “Yeah, you leave them alone. Forever.” Neither Aziraphale nor Crowley could put words to what happened next, but they were comforted by the fact that they knew what Adam had said would stay true. After all, reality was listening to whatever Adam wanted at that current second. Neither Heaven nor Hell would bother them for any reason ever again. Just because Adam said so. Crowley smiled at that. 

“It’s ok, love,” Crowley said, wrapping his arms around Aziraphale. Aziraphale retracted his wings and crumpled to the ground. Crowley went down with him. “We’re ok now. Forever. Isn’t that great?” Aziraphale sobbed with relief. He leaned into Crowley and allowed himself to feel completely at ease for the first time since he’d found out he was pregnant with Eden. 

The ground began rumbling. Crowley flinched in pain and looked over to Aziraphale. Aziraphale grabbed his hand. 

“What is it?” He asked. 

“They told his father,” Crowley said. Another earthquake caused everyone who was still on their feet to stumble. “And he is  _ not  _ happy.” Aziraphale brought Eden down from his shoulder and put him in his lap. He would have a better hold of him there, better protection too. 

“My dad?” Adam asked. “My dad would never hurt anyone.” Crowley shook his head. 

“Not your dad that you know. Satan.” Crowley shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re going to do kid, but you’ve gotta do it fast. The world will listen to what you say, anything you say.” Crowley fell to his side and another earthquake shook the ground. This time, Satan appeared before Adam. 

“Where is my disobedient son?” Satan demanded. Adam took a few steps forward. Satan smiled, but only to show off his sharp teeth. “So  _ you’re  _ the one who is causing all of the problems.” 

“You’re not my dad,” Adam said.

“What?” Adam shook his head.

“You’re not my dad. If I am in trouble with my dad, it isn’t going to be with you. Dad’s don’t wait eleven years only to tell you of. A dad is a person who is there for you. You’re not my dad. You never were.” With that quick statement, Satan was forced back into Hell where he came from. A car pulled up and out came Mr. Young, Adam’s  _ real _ father. 

“Can someone  _ please _ explain to me what is going on?” Mr. Young demanded. He looked at everyone who was on the scene, waiting for some sort of response from them. “Well?” Adam looked back to Crowley and Aziraphale, then over to his friends. He shook his head.

“I really can’t,” Adam said as he walked over to the car. 

“You are in big trouble for this young man,” Mr. Young said, walking back to the car himself. “I don’t know what you’ve been doing up here, but you could get in big trouble with the  _ government _ with a stunt like you just pulled. Do you want-” he was cut off as he shut the car door. The group of people (and an angel, demon, and their son) watched them leave. 

“What now?” Madame Tracy asked. 

“You go back to your normal lives,” Crowley said as he and Aziraphale stood. “Forget any of this ever happened.” Crowley waved his fingers over the air and watched as the human’s memories all got altered. He smiled over to Aziraphale. “And we get to discover what normal means,” Crowley murmured. He ran his hand down Eden’s back to try and soothe the child. “We’ve never really had normal.” Aziraphale shrugged. 

“I suppose not,” he said. He smiled and looked down. “But I’m excited to find out what it’s like.” Crowley nodded. 

“Me too.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week.   
> Find me on Tumblr @justanangelandhisdemon


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the finale of the whole series. I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have! I will be posting the link to the new series in the notes of this series as soon as I have it posted (which, lets be honest, is going to be a while since I rush posted this today I need to give ya'll time to catch up).

Aziraphale and Crowley settled into their room for the night. It was the first time they ever felt like they could do it without fear, thanks to Adam. Eden was already asleep in his own room. Aziraphale and Crowley were just about to go to bed. Aziraphale smiled.

“Now that this whole thing is over, and we don’t have to worry about anything anymore, I have a question to ask,” Aziraphale said. 

“Which is?” 

“How would you feel about Eden having a younger sibling?” Aziraphale asked. The question seemed out of the blue, but Crowley welcomed it.

“I’ve been thinking about adding to our family for a long time,” he said honestly. “I think Eden  _ needs _ a younger sibling,” Crowley said, though it was more that he himself  _ wanted  _ another baby rather than thinking that Eden  _ needed _ a sibling. “Time to conceive a celebratory child?” Crowley asked, only half teasing. Aziraphale shook his head.

“Um, no actually,” Aziraphale said. “The thing about that is,” He smiled to himself. This was the last moment that he was going to keep this secret to himself. The secret he’d been keeping all week. It had been hard keeping it, but he had known it was necessary. “Well, the thing is, I’m already pregnant.” 

“You’re kidding?” Crowley said with disbelief. They’d been being  _ so _ careful. They didn’t want to throw another child into the mix before things were safe. How had it happened that they’d conceived before they were ready? “You’re not actually pregnant. You  _ must  _ be pulling my leg.” Aziraphale shook his head. 

“I am not,” Aziraphale said firmly with a smile. Crowley wrapped his arms around Aziraphale and squeezed him tightly. He kissed Aziraphale’s cheek and smiled.

“We’re going to have another baby?” Crowley said again, hoping the more he was able to confirm it, the more real it would feel. Aziraphale nodded. Crowley let go of Aziraphale so he could put his hand on Aziraphale’s stomach. “You’re serious?” 

“As serious as it would have been if the world had ended.” Crowley placed his head on Aziraphale’s stomach and closed his eyes. He listened for the heartbeat of the baby. 

“How long have you known?” Crowley asked. 

“Monday,” Aziraphale replied. “I recognized some of the earliest symptoms that I had when I first found out about Eden and did a check and, well, my suspicions were correct.”

“Almost an entire week! Why didn’t you tell me?” Aziraphale shrugged.

“I didn’t want to until the whole Armageddon thing happened,” Aziraphale said. “Up until a few hours ago, we were at risk for getting booted off Earth and permanently exiled from each other, if not destroyed completely. I didn’t want you to know about the baby until everything was safe.” Crowley nodded. He perfectly understood Aziraphale’s reasons for not sharing sooner. If their positions had been switched, he probably wouldn’t have told Aziraphale until now either. Losing a child and your husband at once would be hard. He wouldn’t have needed to have the extra grief of an unborn baby on top of that.

“So Eden finally is going to become a big brother,” Crowley said, trying to process the fact. Aziraphale nodded. 

“Yes dear, that’s how having children tends to work. They come about in age order.” Aziraphale placed his hand on his stomach beside Crowley’s face. He wasn’t far enough along to actually be able to feel anything, but he still found comfort in the action.

“Being discorporated didn’t harm them, did it?” Crowley asked. Aziraphale shook his head. 

“I checked as soon as Adam gave me a body,” Aziraphale said. “No damage. The baby is perfectly fine.” Crowley sighed with relief. 

“That’s good.” Aziraphale nodded. He squirmed to get laid down. It had been an exhausting day, as much as stopping the end of the world would be. He didn’t want to sit up anymore. Crowley moved for just long enough for Aziraphale to lay down before putting his head back on Aziraphale’s stomach. “Nine months from now we get to celebrate this whole thing again,” Crowley mumbled, barely able to keep his eyes open. “We’re having a baby,” he slurred. Aziraphale chuckled. 

“Indeed we are,” Aziraphale said. “Indeed we are.” Crowley reached up and grabbed Aziraphale’s hand and squeezed it. 

“We’re good parents,” Crowley said. Aziraphale nodded. 

“Yes, but now I think you’re just holding off of going to sleep just because you just got good news.” 

“Am not,” Crowley said. He yawned, disproving what he’d just said. Aziraphale rolled his eyes with a smile. 

“Are too,” Aziraphale replied. He adjusted the blanket so Crowley could stay where he was, but both of them would still have plenty of warmth from the blanket. Crowley yawned again. 

“I love you,” Crowley said, though he was half asleep. 

“I love you too, my dear,” Aziraphale said. He brushed his fingers through Crowley’s hair until he himself fell asleep. 

It seemed too perfect of an end. They actually managed to stop the world from ending (though their influence on the situation was negligible). They were permanently safe from their respective head offices, which meant they could do whatever they wanted to do. To top it all off, they were going to be new parents again. This baby had also been an accident, but it was going to be a fun one. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week.   
> Find me on Tumblr @justanangelandhisdemon

**Author's Note:**

> Hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week.  
> Find me on Tumblr @justanangelandhisdemon


End file.
